Meet Haze

I am having one of those days. A day where I am trying to figure out who I am still. A day I may not be as confident as the previous day or the days ahead. A day that I can't complain about but a day that had me thinking. Where am I going with this life? What is this all about? Today for some reason I thought about something I witnessed and can not forget. . . .
About a year ago I was pregnant with baby boy and little miss was a year old. We decided it was time to have our backyard landscaped and cement poured. Mr husband found a nice man names Haze who was willing to do the work for a steal! He even traded us different things we had lying around the house for this work. It was almost finished when he said his last job never paid him and he now could not afford his rent and him, his wife and his three children would have to move to mesa to live with family until they could get back on their feet. We had already paid him for everything to be finished but he was not able to get it done before the move.
He drove up one day to finish what he had started. He was an honest man, a hard working man and a family man. His family all came with him. It was a hot day and I offered his wife and children to come inside and I would put on a movie but they said they would rather be outside. I repeated this gesture and continued to offer. Lunch time came around and I knew they had no income since they just moved and lost their home so I made a few pizzas and offered for them all to come inside for lunch. They said they preferred it outside and did not mind the heat but they would accept the pizza. I went outside to bring them some water and I will never forget what I saw once out there. I saw all five of them sitting together, close, some even cuddled together in a small section of shade eating their pizza and their faces showed complete and utter joy. They had no income, they had no residence of their own, their car was leaking gas in front of my house, but here they had each other and anyone could see they knew that was all they needed.
Too often do I find myself caring about things that really don't matter. Cute clothes yeah fun for 3 seconds, decorating my home. . . great until I'm sick of staring at the same color on the walls, my car. . . its nice but anything that keep us safe and takes us from point a to point be would work. As long as we have each other, the four of us, nothing else matters. I would much rather be the family in the shade with nothing but each other then the family that has their focus elsewhere. I guess this just reminded me when I don't feel like I fit in anywhere I fit in here. I fit in under an arm of the man who told me I was beautiful just as I stepped in the shower (stretch marks and all) tonight. I fit in when a little girl thinks I am beautiful Ariel after I take a shower and look my worst. I fit in when a little teething boy is comforted by me, not me with make up and a cute shirt or a small waistline, but me just the way I am and at the end of the day that is all I care about. I really do feel better after writing this. I can go to bed confident and feeling loved, because that's all we really want anyways, to feel loved and accepted. Well here is to a weekend full of family time outside in the shade, eating pizza and focusing on the best things in life.

You won't know until you try it!

I guess all I can say from my lack of blogging these past two weeks is. . . I live my life and then blog about it, I don't live my life through blogging and lately there has just not been a moment to step away and blog. There was even a few days I didn't even turn on the computer and that is rare for me:) On my plate right now. . . .

1. Wanting to be the best mom I can be. More patient. More involved. More playful and silly. Last week in church we talked about what will help our children to be closer to the Savior and strengthen them for the years ahead. It really motivated me to focus even more on the little things each day that will teach my children the important things I want them to know and to help them be the happiest they can be!

2. Exercise! My wonderful sister in law has signed up to do a mini triathlon consisting of a 1/2 mile swim, 13 mile bike ride, and a 3 mile run! It is coming up soon and I have been working hard these past 2 weeks to do this with her. Yes I know it is not adequate training for this event but I just want to finish it, not win it. I have been taking an hour each day to push myself for this thing. One day my sister in law and I rode our bikes 12 miles and then swam a quarter mile and Friday I was able to bike 5 miles, swim 1/2 mile and run a mile. I don't know why I didn't take time to work out my whole life. It makes me a calmer person, a happier person and I feel so great when I am done. I have had more energy with my kids and a stronger desire to push myself each day!

3. I really want to start sewing more and make more of my own clothes. I made this dress on Saturday night and wore it Sunday to church. It was rewarding to know I made this for less then $10 and It motivated me to develop this talent.

Trying new things like new exercise routines or new crafts like sewing takes a great deal of optimism in yourself and your abilities. I never knew I would enjoy these things until I tried them and applied myself more in life.

My Good Better Best. . . .

Everyday it seems I am faced with different choices. Just today Miss priss crawled on my lap just as I was getting ready to go upstairs and do some laundry. I was at a crossroad between the two and it didn't make more then a second to realize what was the best thing to do at this exact moment and that was cuddling with a little girl who still wants to cuddle with her mamma for these few short years. I then knew this is what I would post about. . . .

I often think about a talk from the church I once heard titled"Good, Better, Best." in this talk it states:"We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives." (Dallin H. Oaks)

There are different opportunities all day long to make decisions and I often ask myself," What is the choice with the greatest importance, what is the best choice?" My decisions usually are geared towards the Gospel, family, personal growth, or service, most other things can take the back seat, wait until nap time or really years on certain things.

I am optimistic that as I continue to TRY to make the best decisions as they approach that I will not look back hoping things were different or regretting having my priorities in order. To read the rest of this talk. . . AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT CLICK........ HERE

7 days without blogging makes one weak.

A week with out a post. Man. Where have I been? What have I been doing. A weekend out of town with a computer resulted in negligence on my part. The real adventure I was on this past weekend was running the 4.2 mile run for PATS RUN. I will start by saying I have never ran more then 2 miles at a time. My sister in law (the wonderful Christine!) said she was doing it and invited anyone who wanted to run it with her. I was leery but I was optimistic about being able to do it and I did. Without any walking! Nothing big for most but big for me:)It is a funny thing about running, its comparable to life in so many ways. Its hard, tiring. and sometimes you just want to give up, but when you put your heart into it, and give it your best, the feeling of enduring to the end is pure bliss.

Beautiful Tuesday

I am at the close of this day and feeling. . . .good, optimistic, content.
Today I decided to give it my all.
I worked a little harder to get the house cleaned.
I played a little longer with my kids.
I relaxed a little less and had more energy.
I worked out a little harder and it felt great.
I ate a little healthier.
I prayed more sincerely.
I am now ready to cuddle a little later into the night and spend a little more time with this man of mine I miss so much all day long.
I woke up this day ready to give it my all, and I was optimistic I could live this day to the fullness of what I see to be focusing in on the most important things in my life. I know it was because I went into this day with the mind set that I was going to be in control of this day and make it the best it could be, and it was. . . a beautiful Tuesday.
AND ITS THE LAST 24 HOURS TO ENTER THE GIVE AWAY ON THIS BLOG:www.envymycooking.blogspot.com

Why do I fight you?

Because I'm prideful

Because I am not perfect.

Because you are close to me and will always listen.

Because I PMS.

Because I am a girl.

Because I have hard days.

Because I know you will always make things better once I get this anger out!

Because you love me enough to fight me to reslove things. You never go to bed angry or walk away from anything that needs to be resolved. You will put your whole heart and soul into seeing that I am happy again. I don't fight you to see this passion from you but I sure do always appreciate it.

I hate when we fight, it is mostly on my end when it does happen, but I will say I love when we make up.

There is no excuse for my bickering with my best friend. I'm sorry my love. I will be better. Thank you for always being optimistic when I am not so optimistic. That is why this works, me and you, when one of us is down the other stands high to pull the other one up. It is wonderful in the sense that we learn to always rely on one another. Love you Mr husband.

hmmm.

Let me start off by saying most of the locks in our house are on the outside of the door in order to keep children from going into rooms. Second lets embrace the fact I am one to like a good debate somethimes. Not with just anybody but with Porter that is:) Last night there was some arguement that came up. I mean discussion. It seems my husband has the oppisite ability then Edward Cullen, this husband of mine told me last night that he knows what I'm thinking 95% of the time, wow, I never knew this. All this time I thought he skipped bringing home those long stem roses due to the fact he just didn't know I wanted them but as it apprears he knew! So being the adorable, go with the flow wife I am I made note of this and danced around with this idea and different situations. Lets just say the discussion ended as I slipped out of the bathroom and locked the door, so he was locked in the bathroom, I then told him,"I too can read your mind 95% of the time, let me know telepathically when you are ready to come out." Best discussion we have had in a while:) Let's just clarify he later better explained himself by saying that my facial expressions tell it all I guess. He is right, I don't hide much. One can tell what mood I'm in or if I agree or disagree with any given subject just by looking at my face. Sad but true. I am thankful for these "heated discussions" that occur from time to time. It shows me that I have a husband who will fight to make things better, tell me the truth when I do something wrong for the sake of wanting me to be the best person I can and a husband who is comfortable enough to speak up when things are not progressing in our home in the right direction. This I am thankful for.


On the flip side mr husband and I had the opportunity to go on a date this weekend. There are some weeks that are full of stressful days, early bedtimes and discussions over finances. I sometimes have the weekend approach and am glad to just sit and talk or cuddle with mr husband. This was more then that, this was a date. A time that we both set apart to focus on eachother and the butterflies that brought us together. We went to a movie and just talked after for a while. We saw "Dear John" and it reminded me of that early relationship we had 5 years ago. I can remember as we lived two hours away I would sit on the curb waiting for him to pull up. I remember the butterflies that would take over as soon as I saw that man that would one day be my husband. I remember tickle fights, crying out of joy that I found my one and only, and the long days in between our time together. I am happy to say this is a relationship that has only gotten better over time. This is a man I can sit with and not say a word yet have the

Not Again!

So I was sick AGAIN yesterday. Some sort of mild head cold that little miss must have passed along. I have found that with sickness there can still be good times and memoreies made. For example

Or And I can not avoid the fact that me getting sick occured on a Saturday and that was wonderful. Any weekday with this virus would have been horrible. I would have not been able to sleep for a second or get better as quickly and for this I am thankful! Being optimistic is starting to wear on me:)

Strength in numbers. . .

There is the cutest little family in our ward. Their son was born with a complication that are leaving dr's clueless. They could really use all of your prayers and fasting as well. She is an optimist I truely admire, to read her blog click http://skadams.blogspot.com/.

P.S.

We're doing a little give away on our blog!!! CHECK IT OUT!
www.envymycooking.blogspot.com

I spy. . .

p.s. please tell me you have seen the yummy recipes being shared HERE

Take it, it's yours. . .

One would think they had possession of their own heart but I know I don't.
My Heart belongs to a husband who takes good care of this heart of mine.
A son who melts it with every smile or giggle he gives
and a daughter who has a 103 temp and makes my heart very heavy at this moment.
I would gladly give this heart of mine for these darlings but hope this heart keeps beating so I can grow older alongside these three.
I know If I ever did go my heart would stay behind,
for it is not mine but theirs for the keeping and I'm optimistic this is why I was given a heart when I was created. . .for all of you.
I love you my darlings

STOP RIGHT THERE!

Gladly! I'm OPTIMISTIC this won't be the last time mr. Husband sweeps me off my feet!

Don't forget to check for monsters. . .

Miss Priss was crying in the middle of the night. Mr. Husband went in her room to comfort our two year old who was crying. . . MONSTERS SCARE YOU. Poor girl had a nightmare about monsters I suppose. I can remember as a child having bad dreams. I also remember The comfort that came when a parent came to the rescue. I spent the remainder of the night by her side happy to comfort her and optimistic that this helped confirm her knowledge that her mamma and dada are here for her day and night.

Dear Diary. . .

This weekend was most wonderful. Spending time with family, listening to leaders in the church give you council and direction that you oh so badly need as the world goes to crap, and remembering your dear Savior and the resurrection that took place that will give you the opportunity to live again as well. This weekend you also learned a lot about yourself and your happiness. You learned that hard times will come, challenges will come and people around you may try to interrupt the happiness you have. NO ONE can take your happiness away from you, it is something you choose to have. Others may try to lessen it or test your happiness but you choose what to make of each moment of each day. You choose to let the little things get to you and wear you down or to brush them off and realize they were not worth disrupting YOUR happiness. And most of all if things around you are wearing on your happiness, well then remove yourself from the situation and surround yourself with what makes you most happy for example. . . .

until next time diary, Karly girl

Say what. . . .

I am optimistic someone can tell me what she is saying during our most recent trip to the zoo. . . The ONLY word I understand is hippopotomus. BE CREATIVE!