Meet Haze

I am having one of those days. A day where I am trying to figure out who I am still. A day I may not be as confident as the previous day or the days ahead. A day that I can't complain about but a day that had me thinking. Where am I going with this life? What is this all about? Today for some reason I thought about something I witnessed and can not forget. . . .
About a year ago I was pregnant with baby boy and little miss was a year old. We decided it was time to have our backyard landscaped and cement poured. Mr husband found a nice man names Haze who was willing to do the work for a steal! He even traded us different things we had lying around the house for this work. It was almost finished when he said his last job never paid him and he now could not afford his rent and him, his wife and his three children would have to move to mesa to live with family until they could get back on their feet. We had already paid him for everything to be finished but he was not able to get it done before the move.
He drove up one day to finish what he had started. He was an honest man, a hard working man and a family man. His family all came with him. It was a hot day and I offered his wife and children to come inside and I would put on a movie but they said they would rather be outside. I repeated this gesture and continued to offer. Lunch time came around and I knew they had no income since they just moved and lost their home so I made a few pizzas and offered for them all to come inside for lunch. They said they preferred it outside and did not mind the heat but they would accept the pizza. I went outside to bring them some water and I will never forget what I saw once out there. I saw all five of them sitting together, close, some even cuddled together in a small section of shade eating their pizza and their faces showed complete and utter joy. They had no income, they had no residence of their own, their car was leaking gas in front of my house, but here they had each other and anyone could see they knew that was all they needed.
Too often do I find myself caring about things that really don't matter. Cute clothes yeah fun for 3 seconds, decorating my home. . . great until I'm sick of staring at the same color on the walls, my car. . . its nice but anything that keep us safe and takes us from point a to point be would work. As long as we have each other, the four of us, nothing else matters. I would much rather be the family in the shade with nothing but each other then the family that has their focus elsewhere. I guess this just reminded me when I don't feel like I fit in anywhere I fit in here. I fit in under an arm of the man who told me I was beautiful just as I stepped in the shower (stretch marks and all) tonight. I fit in when a little girl thinks I am beautiful Ariel after I take a shower and look my worst. I fit in when a little teething boy is comforted by me, not me with make up and a cute shirt or a small waistline, but me just the way I am and at the end of the day that is all I care about. I really do feel better after writing this. I can go to bed confident and feeling loved, because that's all we really want anyways, to feel loved and accepted. Well here is to a weekend full of family time outside in the shade, eating pizza and focusing on the best things in life.