Welcome to my blog. . . .

I am pessimistict, my husband hates it and sometimes it takes away from the happiness I have all around me and so. . . this blog is dedicated to finding something good in each day and being optimistic.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I woke up Monday with mild spotting. 15 weeks pregnant and spotting is like ice cream with pepperonies. Just not good. I basically stalked my way into the dr that day when they took forever to call me back. I called. Called some more. Went with a friend who randomly happened to have an appointment with the same dr just to have them call me back as I was in the waiting room with her. The dr saw me that day although he may have thought I was borderline crazy. When it comes to my family there isn't anything I wont to do make sure they are safe and sound. This my my first appointment with him mind you so his first impression of me may not be the best but hey I would rather be the crazy concerned mom rather then the whatever mom. Right? Right. So I tell him Im spotting and I lay back to have an ultra sound. Joy,relief and tears all came as I saw this little one wiggle and squirm inside. The dr explained that my placenta has a tear and it is bleeding. Baby is good but we need to have the placenta heal. He showed me a blood clot near my cervix. He said this is not normal but it is common. I was told bed rest was the only thing that could do the trick. More bleeding could have a bad result but that these usually heal on their own with rest. As all these concerns took over I thought to myself.....,"I could use some good news right about now." so I asked if he could see what I was having. That little one just then positioned perfectly and we saw what the gender was. I left feeling glad that my baby was safe but worried about the upcoming weeks and how I was going to manage bed rest with a three and one year old. I called porter on my way home....."Porter, I just went to the dr. the placenta has a tear, I was told bed rest but your little girl looks perfect and healthy."
If you read my previous posts you know I have already felt like I have been sick or out of sorts for weeks now. We just moved two weeks ago and I was already feeling a little overwhelmed with the changes. As of now I'm on bed rest until the end of the month and then we will see from there. I'm at a time in my life where I am striving to find out what my tasks are in is life. I am trying to exercise faith in hopes that it will grow stronger. I feel like I am currently being given many opportunities to learn of the faith I am capable of possessing but it is a hard hard thing to do. I know without a doubt if I can hold onto faith that I will come out a stronger, happier, more confident and hopeful person but getting there has it's challenges. I feel like for weeks, even months now I have been given the chance to build stronger faith and with that opportunity comes opposition. Just as I believe in a Father in heaven I also know of Satan who is present as well. I know he is there striving to take away from this faith building experience and he does that by instilling fear into my being, he presents doubt in front of me. It is my choice to choose faith or fear. I can feel the battle taking place and sometimes it is hard to not think of all that is wrong, or could go wrong. But I'm striving to be positive. To replace doubt with hope. The fear with faith. I'm learning the greater meaning of trusting in the Lord, trusting in His plan. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes the entire world seems to be showing us all is lost or a bad outcome lerks ahead but if He whispered to me all will be well then the ball is now in my court to stand by Him, have faith in HIm and trust in HIm. I have so many things that have me wondering what is coming but I just need to remind myself that whatever does come its part of HIs plan. He is there through it all and most importantly HE wants me to be happy, to have joy sometimes it just takes us leaning a little bit more on HIm to find it.
Thank you to wonderful friends and family. For the help this week, the flowers, and the long talks. You have no idea the love I have for you.

9 notes:

Lauren and Jason said...

Karla, you don't know me but I grew up with Porter and Julie is one of my good friends. I just want you to know that I love your posts. You do such a great job articulating how you feel. Thank you. I, myself, am struggling and I really appreciate your insights. Keep it up! You are such an amazing person!

Brenden+Nikki said...

Aw Karla that is definitely scary. Good for you for being persistent and congrats on the little girl! You're great with girls so that's exciting! (you're great with boys too). If it's any consolation I spotted on and off for a month with Elle. I was terrified what it might mean. But now I have a happy little 3 week old. Everything will be ok. Just rest like the doctor says. You've had a lot going on too so you probably need the rest anyway!! You're in my prayers ;).

Shannon said...

Hang in there sweeetie! I am so sorry to hear of your struggles right now. Happy to hear your sweet baby girl is looking good and healthy but sorry about the scary news. Listen to that Dr. though and do your bedrest. It's not always easy to accept help-I know b/c I am so stubborn about it-but your children, husband and your body need you to right now...and that's okay. The Lord may be giving you this to help others serve and be blessed (does that make sense?). Your in my prayers, take care of yourself and that sweet girly! Congrats on it being a girl btw!

K & L said...

Karla,

I think it is perfect that you moved back to Mesa when you did. You are around family who can help you while you are on bed rest. I can't wait to hear that you are all rested up and your placenta has healed.

Love ya!

Lindsey

Kat Clark said...

Congratulations on your little baby girl! That is so exciting. I know that you are currently surrounded by so much uncertainty but maybe you can look at the physical bed rest as an indicator that you need to put yourself on spiritual bed rest?

Do you know what I mean or am I crazy? I'm just saying that you are letting your emotions battle over good and evil like your body battled over packing and unpacking. Maybe all you need to do is sit down and know that God is good and real and very, very near? If you can prescribe yourself spiritual rest like the doctor has prescribed you physical rest, I think you will find the peace you seek. Even if "storms are raging" just off the edge of the bed.

I am positive you will find your optimism and your security in your new home in this huge transition. You are one of the most faithful and genuine women I know. You have an infectious love for life. You will conquer this. Much love. xo

McKayandLani said...

I knew it was a girl! I hope everything gets better. I'll be praying for you. Call me when you can because I can't get through when I try to call you.
*hugs*

Becky and Tyler said...

Karla!!! We only live a few miles away so if you ever need anything let me know!!! Congrats on being preggers and that's so exciting that you got to find out already ;)

Sandra Nixon said...

Great to hear from you again. Sorry you had to go through that but it might help to know that the same happened with me on this pregnancy, at week 12 for me. The bleeding, clot etc. Everything has gone fine since then (a bit more bleeding but not much) and i am 25 weeks now. Keep your head up, things will probably be just fine:)
Congrats on the girl!!

Christen said...

Hope things are going better for you. You are in our prayers and you have the right frame of mind. You always do. Keep doing what you are doing. Faith in the Lord is always a light through your trials. You are amazing and I know you can make it though this and things will be just Perfectly Perfect!!!