Todays talk. . . .

This week consisted of. . . Baby Reed having croup, teething and an ear infection, me having a sprint triatholon and giving a talk in church today. So to fill you in on it all I am posting the talk I gave today in church......My talk was on my role as a daughter of God being a mother, enjoy and happy mothers day to everyone too!

All growing up my parents would ask me, ”Karla when you grow up how many kids do you want to have?” my reply was always the same, I would reply,” as many as I can get.” Just the other day when we were over at my dads house I had Elizabeth who was throwing a temper tantrum and reed at the same time spitting his baby food right at my implying he was finished. I looked over to my dad who had a big smile across his face as he said,” do you still want as many as you can get?”
This brings me to my talk today which is my role as a daughter of God being a mother.
Growing up I had this vision in my head that motherhood would be nothing but pure bliss. This vision included me with my children playing outside, the kids being sweet and well mannered and my of course having myself ready for the day and a home made dinner cooking inside. In this same vision my house was spotless, my sink empty and of course no laundry.
Two kids and a reality check later I find motherhood to be a very different reality. It is still blissful in moments but this is real life motherhood and it teaches me so much more then I could have ever imagined in some daydream years ago. My mothering experience has moments where I want to throw in the towel, but endure to the end and find strength I never knew I had. This motherhood story I’m living faces 6ft tall piles of laundry that give me the sense of accomplishment when finished. And this mothering experience challenged me last week with a sick baby that had me up all night, leaving me feeling tired, un showered and overwhelmed at times but led me to turn to my Father in Heaven for help, comfort, and guidance and in return I was able to grow closer to my Father in Heaven as I trusted and turned to Him.
During this past week as we were trying to get by with our Reed being sick, if you were to have stopped by you would have seen a messy house, a sink full of dishes and empty in and out burger wrappers on the table. One may have thought I was a bit of a lazy mother of that I wasn’t doing a great job of mothering as both my kids were crying in harmony. You would have not known that all my energy was being put towards what was most important and that was bringing comfort day and night to my sick baby and other things were put on hold this week.
Although I am not perfect at this, I find it so important not to judge mother to mother for we don’t know each others circumstances but we need to be loving, encourage and support on another. It is important we try our best day to be the best mothers we can be but knowing our best differs from others best.
Elder M. Russell Ballard said in his talk “ There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities and certainly different children. What matters most is that a mother loves her children deeply and in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.” He also says that s mothers…”There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy and frustration. Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times but amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction” (close quote).
I for one have had my fair share of days where I feel a little inadequate as a mother. Days where I felt I had not taken enough time for my children during the day. I have also come to realize that as these moments of inadequacy come I have two options. I can be depressed about it or I can do something about it. I try to stop what I’m doing and put everything on hold while I sit and play with my kids, turn on some music and dance with them or just sit and cuddle a while. I try to take care of my children’s needs before any household obligations for I know they are at the age they need so much love and attention. Elder M Russell Ballard said,” I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek with the help of the Lord to teach them all we can before they leave our homes. We need to remember that full time commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult. In this same talk Elder Ballard also guides us as he says,” Don’t overscheduled yourself or your children. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with activities. Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen to laugh and to play together.” (close quote). It is also needed to be said that we sisters need some time to ourselves to charge the batteries as I like to say and as M Russell Ballard says,” sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life and make time for them. Water can not be drawn from an empty well and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even your children.” close quote just yesterday I finished a mini triathlon along with my sister in law. I took time each day to prepare for this by getting out and exercising. As I went about doing this I often turned to my Father in Heaven to direct me and help me find this time for myself as well as keep this time to myself within healthy limits for my family. Through Him I found a good balance. Each day as I would exercise I would find myself in a better mood, a more patient mother and a sense of accomplishment as well. Yesterday I swam the ½ mile swim and biked the 13 mile course and then ran 3 miles to the finish line where my children and husband saw me accomplishing a goal. My children, although very younger need to see examples of goals been met in life and hard work being essential to achieve these goals and who better to be an example of this then their mother. I have learned that moderation is key in so many things in life and that brings us to the next topic and which elder Ballard councils us to not allow ourselves to be caught up in the time wasting, mind numbing things like television, soap operas or surfing the internet.
This I have found to be true in my life. At nap time I like to pick up the house, get some sewing done or get dinner started. I could easily just sit and watch a show and relax a while and I have done just that some days. The days where I sit and watch TV or sit on the computer usually leave me with a feeling of being tired, lazy or sometimes even depressed a little. I have found If I work hard throughout the day and give it my all I feel so much more accomplished and it leaves more things getting done each day in return giving us more precious time as a family each night and on the weekends.
Another way to fulfill our roles as mothers the best we can is to pray, study and teach the gospel Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. And for those who are not mothers I would like to say how essential you are to our creators plan as well. Sheri Dew said in a 2001 talk,” every one of us has an overarching obligation to model righteous womanhood because our youth may not see it anywhere else. Every sister in relief society which is the most significant community of women on this side of the veil is responsible to help our young women make a joyful transition into Relief Society. We are all mothers in Israel and our calling is to love and help lead the rising generation through dangerous streets of mortality.
Let me tell a quick story of my life. All growing up we had our aunt Katie, my dads sister who was unable to have children of her own. She was always there for every major event in our lives and we were always very close to her. 3 years ago when my sweet mother passed away from cancer Katie flew in for the funeral and was there for us. Although she is not my mother, she makes me feel the deep love and concern my mother had for me. My aunt Katie has the divine mothering ability instilled in her and shares this with me. I am so grateful for those women here on earth who do not have children but still fill this world with their beautiful mothering qualities.
I want to say in closing that I know times can be hard as mothers and I hope wee can all take time out to appreciate the sweet moments and draw from these moments when times are not so sweet. I hope we can remember this life is meant to test and try us but we have father in Heaven who is there when the weight gets to be too much, and I pray we turn to him always. I hope we as sisters can grow closer to one another while many of us are on similar paths of motherhood and that wee can draw strength from one another and encourage and support each other. I know I can gain knowledge from the sisters without children as well and I thank the sweet sisters who love and help me mother my children like my daughters sweet nursery teacher who keeps such a sweet spirit in her nursery classroom. I am grateful for an all knowing Father in Heaven who has a plan for me and for my family although it may not always be easy He is always near, loving me, and wanting me to succeed. I am thankful I was blessed with my mother on this earth and for her example to me for the 21 years of my life she was alive. I am so thankful for this church that helps me become the best mother I can be and better understand the mother my Father in heaven wants me to be. I am blessed with a husband who supports me in being a righteous mother and am amazed at when I follow the spirit I know I am on the path of motherhood that will best benefit me and my children. I have a testimony that our happiness is ours and no one can take that away from us, but we need to choose to be happy mothers and do all in our power each day to be this source of light, joy, and peace to our children by applying ourselves and striving to do all we can to have the spirit and to be the closest we can to our Father in Heaven. And above all I try to remind myself daily to have fun, cherish and find joy in my sweet children and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.