It was so great waking up Saturday morning and starting the day off with a family bike ride to the park. The kids are starting to become better and better of friends. They laughed and played as daddy chased them around. They were so excited to be able to go to the park since it is not a million degrees anymore:)
I love to just sit and watch them play. I love to see their imaginations in full bloom. I love to hear their giggles and watch them work together as a team. I love to see how Reed copies almost everything Elizabeth does and how Elizabeth is becoming more and more like a second mom to her little brother.
I also love how the park allows me to sit and have some cuddle time with our sweet Collette....
I want to enjoy every second of this sweet time as I know they will all grow up so fast and the park will no longer be the coolest place to go for a day. I know I will miss these days outdoors with little ones playing in the sun.
But for now, while they are young we will be spending our Saturday mornings at the park..... and I love that it's just a bike ride away
Dear Diary,
There is a special magic that creeps into a home when a newborn is present. It's magical and holds a perfect calmness that comes over everything and everyone. Time slows down and what is truly important becomes clearer than ever. Children draw close, husband and wife celebrate what their love has created and joy is all around. The hustle and bustle of life is almost in slow motion as our little family has spent hours in bed cuddled together, holding baby, and watching movies. We are so blessed. Oh how we are blessed. 2 AM has never had such a beautiful feeling as when I am cuddled feeding my new baby girl in her peaceful nursery, with her lights dim, just the two of us share this time. A time when everyone is asleep and the house is silent. I would not trade this time for anything. I better go cuddle that little peanut I love so dearly....
Wow, I'm behind on blogging. It makes me sad because this is really the way I keep a journal/ save pictures. My sweet kids have been making so many memories and I wish I would have kept track more but hey what can you do? So here is what has been going on over here.... sorry not the most exciting post
Reed..... My Reedy boy. He is just awesome. This little guy makes me laugh everyday. He doesn't talk a whole lot yet, I'm sure a big part of that is that he is very attached to his binky. He also had a lot of ear infections as a baby so his hearing could be affected by that but the dr. said we will wait until he is 2 to determine something like that. He does talk though..... words like momma, dada, hot dog, ball, choo choo, train, car, please, binky, quack quack, and dog just to name a few. He is all boy. He is just a little guy though, he is only in the 8% for his weight! He loves all his boy cousins that he gets to see more often now and is constantly trying to wrestle them. He has a good arm and plays catch with my dad (poppy) a lot. He got a haircut about two weeks ago and Porter buzzed it all away. Poor Reed hated it. He was creaming,"GO!" THE ENTIRE TIME (AS IN GO AWAY). He is a good sleeper and takes a good 2-3 hour nap daily. He LOVES hot dogs, orange juice and eggs to just name a few of his favorite foods. He has started to show a real interest in babies, that is a relief considering we will have new one here in 3 months. My little guy also loves swimming, Porter took him just this last weekend and we would pass him back and forth under water like a torpedo, he loved it! Last but not least he is a sweetheart.... if we are every pretend crying or sad or saying goodnight he will give us a kiss on both cheeks, like he is from Europe or something. So cute, he will never just kiss one cheek but always has to be both. How I love this little guy.
Rapunzel...... I mean Elizabeth. She is in love with Rapunzel. She watches it at least once everyday, she just got the dress at the Disney store and today has been carrying around a metal pan from her kitchen set. She is so darn sweet and has become a very good helper. She helps Reed be happy and picks up toys when asked. She is so smart and remembers everything I tell her or say. She is all girl and loves to have her hair curled and put make up on. She tells me at least ten times a day," I love you so much mom" and I am loving having a three year old little girl. She is going to be great as my helper when new baby is born. She loves to color and can sit and talk to your for hours. She loves swimming, her dance class and anything princess. Her new favorite color is dark purple.
And as for #3.... she is moving right along. This pregnancy has been flying by! I am 25 weeks now and we just had a 3D ultrasound, I saw a lot of Elizabeth in her. We have two names that we like right now but we will most likely decide for sure when we see her. Porter is doing good and working hard. We have loved the move so far and are so happy to be back around family, it has been the best thing we could have done. We have a few more things that we need to have fall into place before the baby comes that will make us a little, or lot more settled but we are trying to be patient and faithful.
I got a new computer for mothers day and as pathetic as it sounds I don't even know how to get my pictures onto my computer so pictures will have to happen next post ( and I thought a MAC would be easier for me to use). Go figure.
I woke up Monday with mild spotting. 15 weeks pregnant and spotting is like ice cream with pepperonies. Just not good. I basically stalked my way into the dr that day when they took forever to call me back. I called. Called some more. Went with a friend who randomly happened to have an appointment with the same dr just to have them call me back as I was in the waiting room with her. The dr saw me that day although he may have thought I was borderline crazy. When it comes to my family there isn't anything I wont to do make sure they are safe and sound. This my my first appointment with him mind you so his first impression of me may not be the best but hey I would rather be the crazy concerned mom rather then the whatever mom. Right? Right. So I tell him Im spotting and I lay back to have an ultra sound. Joy,relief and tears all came as I saw this little one wiggle and squirm inside. The dr explained that my placenta has a tear and it is bleeding. Baby is good but we need to have the placenta heal. He showed me a blood clot near my cervix. He said this is not normal but it is common. I was told bed rest was the only thing that could do the trick. More bleeding could have a bad result but that these usually heal on their own with rest. As all these concerns took over I thought to myself.....,"I could use some good news right about now." so I asked if he could see what I was having. That little one just then positioned perfectly and we saw what the gender was. I left feeling glad that my baby was safe but worried about the upcoming weeks and how I was going to manage bed rest with a three and one year old. I called porter on my way home....."Porter, I just went to the dr. the placenta has a tear, I was told bed rest but your little girl looks perfect and healthy."
If you read my previous posts you know I have already felt like I have been sick or out of sorts for weeks now. We just moved two weeks ago and I was already feeling a little overwhelmed with the changes. As of now I'm on bed rest until the end of the month and then we will see from there. I'm at a time in my life where I am striving to find out what my tasks are in is life. I am trying to exercise faith in hopes that it will grow stronger. I feel like I am currently being given many opportunities to learn of the faith I am capable of possessing but it is a hard hard thing to do. I know without a doubt if I can hold onto faith that I will come out a stronger, happier, more confident and hopeful person but getting there has it's challenges. I feel like for weeks, even months now I have been given the chance to build stronger faith and with that opportunity comes opposition. Just as I believe in a Father in heaven I also know of Satan who is present as well. I know he is there striving to take away from this faith building experience and he does that by instilling fear into my being, he presents doubt in front of me. It is my choice to choose faith or fear. I can feel the battle taking place and sometimes it is hard to not think of all that is wrong, or could go wrong. But I'm striving to be positive. To replace doubt with hope. The fear with faith. I'm learning the greater meaning of trusting in the Lord, trusting in His plan. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes the entire world seems to be showing us all is lost or a bad outcome lerks ahead but if He whispered to me all will be well then the ball is now in my court to stand by Him, have faith in HIm and trust in HIm. I have so many things that have me wondering what is coming but I just need to remind myself that whatever does come its part of HIs plan. He is there through it all and most importantly HE wants me to be happy, to have joy sometimes it just takes us leaning a little bit more on HIm to find it.
Thank you to wonderful friends and family. For the help this week, the flowers, and the long talks. You have no idea the love I have for you.
Right now I am surrounded by moving boxes, packing tape and sheets of bubble wrap. We're outta here shortly. I have to say I am feeling a roller coaster of emotions. These past two months have been a little dark for me. The self I feel confident about crawled into hiding and became distant from everything that has any importance to me. I felt so awful I didn't want my husband to touch me, I didn't want to nurture and spend time with my children and I didn't want to became closer to Christ by doing the day to day things that keep me going and give me true happiness. Like I said it has been a little dark. Rays of sunshine would pass by like a meal from a friend, a sweet moment with my children or a feeling of love from my Father in Heaven but ultimately I have been tucked away in this pocket of gloom. I've been facing anxiety attacks and just getting through the day to get through it not to enjoy it. It has been hard. Morning sickness limited me to the couch and left me just wanting to feel good for a brief moment so I could be happy. The fear of our move and the stresses that will come from this all took over. The unknowing in what the plan is for me and my family has been overwhelming and I have felt fearful instead of having faith.
Lately the morning sickness has now made improvement and is only there about half a day. I have found more joy feeling good at least half a day and enjoying this time with my family. Oh my sweet children and dear husband. I started packing today.... Loading and wrapping dish wear, I started to feel sad and fearful. Then it hit me, with the gloom that has been around me these past months what better time for change then now. A new place to refind joy in motherhood. A new city to go on dates with my love. A place to start fresh. All gloom can be left behind. This is a chance to start something new and make it a positive change, a change for the better. I'm excited to start a new routine and find how joy can be the captain of my new routine. I'm excited to be enlightened by old friends and familiar faces I have grown up with. I'm giddy to see what my home town will bring our family after being gone for 6 years. I am ready. Ready to say good bye to this chapter. Ready to welcome a new chapter. Ready to have stronger faith and a better me.
It's hard when you are at times in your life when nothing really seems predictable. Nothing seems certain, things don't seem as together as maybe you had wished or hoped. Maybe it's a time of change or a time you thought life was going to take you one way but it is going completely 180. We kinda feel like we are in that situation these days. My morning sickness has me feeling plain awful and the TV is on pretty much all day as my aid in raising my kids for the next couple weeks. The house is a mess. I miss getting up and ready and going on an outing with my sweet babies. On top of that our house just went up for sale and we have the feeling it's just time to go home.... to Mesa. Weather it sells or not we're still going, and do I have energy to pack up the house, heck no. The kids both have some crazy cough that has each of them up all hours of the night and I'm not even going to talk about our laundry mess. We have a lot of " what ifs" about this move and mr. husbands work and where we will be when new baby comes. I don't feel like I have control over anything on my plate. I don't feel like life is as pretty put together as I like it to usually be but guess what....... it will pass. I will get feeling better, we will move, figure things out and welcome a new addition into our arms because we are going through this little hiccup of morning sickness. My kids will get better and sleep better before I know it. The house will sell, or it wont, either way my family will be together and it will all work out. Doesn't it always? I am learning to just be content when things are not just as I would like them to be. There is still something to be learned, joy to be had and blessings to acknowledge. For example this time as a couch potato I have been able to just sit and watch my kids interact and play and it has been a beautiful thing. I have had more cuddle time and more time to listen to conference talks then in weeks past and I have learned to find joy in this change of pace. Not that any of these things are dramatic life happenings, they are still change and they can still be scary, but most of all they can be a time to grow if that is how I look at the situation. I just wanted to write and remind myself that change happens, uncertainties occur but we are in good hands, His hands and as long as that is never forgotten we will have joy.
Well we are now on our way to welcoming another baby into our little family. ( it's not staying little for long it seems). We are happy to announce We are pregnant! BABY #3 is due in August and we could not be any more excited. Little Elizabeth will be about 3 1/2 and Reed will just be 2! It should be fun :) There is not a moment that goes by that I am not thankful for these two children I have been blessed with and I am thrilled to welcome our new baby later this year. I'm sure my excitement will be multiplied once I'm over this awful morning (all day) sickness. It's tough. But I've been through it twice before and know how worth it it is so that helps. My sweet children have been so great while I have been taking it easy on the couch. Reed and Elizabeth come up all day long and just lay and cuddle with me. Elizabeth has been helping Reed get down from chairs, open fruit snacks and she even picked up the living room without even being asked. I can't even describe how helpful my dear mr. husband is. He has been letting me take the naps I need and he has been so helpful and patient. I'm on medication but it doesn't seem to change how I feel at all. Every night before Elizabeth crawls into bed (after we have said a family prayer) we have taught her to kneel by her bed and say a little personal prayer. Last night I heard her pray that we could be safe and that mommy could feel better. It just melted my heart. She really is a sweet little girl and I am so thankful for her and her little brother to help keep me company while we hibernate for these next couple weeks while daddy goes to work.
I'm off to bed, trying to get to sleep early but I quickly wanted to log today so I could remember it for years to come.....
In church today Elizabeth graduated from nursery class to now being a sunbeam. She is just barely three with the new year starting so she is one of then youngest in the class but I'm so excited for her. I dropped her off and sat her in the front row with all the other sunbeam three year olds and she gave me a kiss goodbye. She has been very excited to become a sunbeam and I have been excited for her too. As I watched from the back the tears came and kept coming, I could not help but think how big she is getting but even more that she is going to learn so much about the Savior and His love for her in primary over the years. I'm excited for her to grow and learn so much and this is the start of it all. I cried out of gratitude that I have found this church that it is just what I need in this life and also will be a guide and strength for my dear children. Elizabeth, I am proud of you and thankful you are my sweet daughter. I was proud to hear that you were a good listener and didn't even cry like some of the sunbeams did with all the changes. Keep being the sweet, silly, amazing little girl you are. Mommy loves you.
